Reminsce For Me
by Jadare
Summary: Ten years. And all I have left is a mask... and a false hope that maybe one day... one day we'll be the Teen Titans again. RS BBR [Ch. 2]
1. Just Leave

**A/N: Okay, brand new start, brand new things… This story is sorta inspired by the great cookie eating writer ****Symmetrica****l** **Just of the record, I don't own squat… not even my car, so same thing kinda applies for The Titans.**

**Chapter one: Just leave**

Beep!

Beep!

Beep!

My eyes shot open.

A white ceiling…

…

…

… How original.

Laying straight in my bed, I slowly turned my head over toward the annoying alarm clock beeping in my face. My night lamp was still on, and it illuminated its light over the entire room exposing to my sight the color of my walls, my bedside table, the picture that always remained turned over, my mask, and that screaming clock… the clock that flashed me, with painful realization.

3:00AM

"I'm up," I grumbled, slamming my ungloved fist down on the loud thing, before pulling myself up into a sitting position. I stared at the white walls as they glared back at me.

'_I think more color to your room for the bed would be wonderous to your emotions!' A red head sat on the edge of my bed, her arms crossed over her chest._

Her breathtaking eyes were permanently burned into my memory. Just the thought of her voice, still to this day, left a faint ringing in my ears.

'_How so?' I sat at my desk, completely forgetting my paperwork on the Cinderblock break in. All I saw was her._

I remember that I had chuckled at what she said. Her mere statement said so much about her. She was so ready to be helpful, so happy to be talked to.

'_Well, I observed from a very educational documentary on the TLC channel that it is nearly impossible to be unhappy when you have vibrant colors surrounding you.' A grateful smile started from her eyes and ended up on me._

'_Really now?' _

I still kept that dumb smile on my face… every time she came to mind, it was always there. My only happiness.

'_Affirmative, why do you think friend Raven is so unhappy? Black is seriously lacking in the vibrant department.' She giggled, lightly._

Yet, aside from my own pathetic joy and happiness, nothing compared to her. She was happy looking; even in serious times… she always seemed to hold all the hope in the world.

'_Okay, Star, you've convinced me. I'll change the color of my room.' _

Unfortunately for me, I had to find out how false that hope really was.

"Looks like I lied about that too," I mumbled at the memory, before rubbing my hand over my face. It's not like it never crossed my mind to re-paint my room, to stray from all the formalities, and actually do something different. Heck, I even almost considered making it a team effort to change my bedroom around… but, like so many other different things, that never happened.

Swiping the sheets off of me, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed in one quick motion.

Silently, I made my way to my bathroom.

If I ever once thought my bedroom was bad, my bathroom had nearly crossed insane obsession and was barely stepping over mentally ill… it was just as white, just as boring… but five times cleaner.

I shed my boxers.

As funny as it may seem, having boxers with my own face on it… or maybe they just call that conceded? Whatever the term they use, I smirked at the drawing of my childish face… turning back to the mirror, I made a silent comparison.

Running my hand though my long locks, no longer spiky, but now reaching to my mid-back, I saw the years on my skin as if they were large pimples sticking out on my face. I was more masculine, more mature, more… older. Ten years does a lot to a person.

Scoffing at that thought, I twisted the knobs of the shower. Hot water came pouring through the shower head, steam already rising from the obviously scorching water. You know, the kind that leaves you breathless and sweating after you've only been in for a few minutes, all the while you're as red as a lobster? I smirked at the thought. Perfect.

Stepping in, I held my breath as the stinging feeling drenched my naturally tanned skin. The near boiling water cascaded across my muscles, which were tense and pained, probably from stress… oh well.

I stood there as I counted the seconds it took for my skin to finally accept the hot water. The stinging slowly ceased, and I was left hot and red. Grabbing the shampoo up swiftly, I poured it directly into my hair, not even bothering to see how much it was.

Lathering it up, my memories went straight back to the past.

'_Raven?' _

I always shuddered when I talked to her. For some reason, she always seemed to have that effect on anybody she ever encountered. She was so mysterious, but so familiar all at once.

_Raven was standing at the sink in the kitchen, her hood over her head as she just stared. I remember I couldn't see her face, just her back._

'_Raven? You okay?' I asked, concerned._

'_Swell,' She managed through clenched teeth._

'_Wat is it?' I asked._

_She sighed, turning around silently, exposing chocolate frosting all over her face and hair. _

_I suppressed the urge to laugh._

'_Help me get this off. Now.' She nodded to the shampoo on the counter._

No matter how big I ever acted, how intimidating I was always known to be. Raven's tone when she was mad, had always scared me to speechless and obeying… Heck, it was like that with just about everyone she snapped at.

_I nodded shortly, grabbing the bottle as she watched me intently. I turned on the water on in the sink, turning it to a warm setting. _

'_Thank you,' She whispered._

I let shock run over my face for just a split second before returning to my concentrated expression. I'm still convinced to this day that she saw it.

'_I was trying to make a cake for Beastboy tonight. I figured a cake would be a good birthday present, you know?' She explained ducking her head under the water._

_Instead of hiding the shock that time, I let it flaunt the fact I was freaked out. But soon after, I raised an eyebrow her way._

In case, no one ever paid attention, Raven never was never really the one to express anything outside of single syllable insults, unless you were special enough to have an actual sentence snapped your way. Raven was dark… cold… expressionless, yet I was graced with a confession…

The strangeness still taunts my mind…

'_Don't look at me like that,' she muttered as I began pouring the shampoo onto her hair, not even checking how much I had used, "He deserves one." _

'_Yeah. He does.' I rinsed her jet black hair off and pulled out a dish towel._

_She accepted it and dried it off quickly._

'_You clean up well.' I muttered._

'_I got most of it cleaned off from the kitchen… my hair was the hard part…' She mumbled, 'I didn't want to make the sink a mess.'_

_She brought her hands into view to show they too were covered._

'_And since when did you become a messy person?' I asked slightly amused._

_She turned to the sink and looked at me expectantly._

_I turned on the water._

'_I'm not.' She grumbled, pushing her hands under the water, 'I was thinking, and I let it get to me. Stupid. Careless. It will not happen again.'_

Dull… ever so dull. And yet, I was interested.

'…'

I said I was interested I never expected an answer. Raven was never one for saying her feelings out loud.

_I love him, Robin._

When a strangers voice invades your mind… your thoughts. You tend to feel very… vulnerable. That feeling never leaves your memory. And sure, she may have done that many times before, but it always feels like the first time… every time.

I shuddered in the shower involuntarily.

'_Wha-' I turned to her in shock. _

'_You heard me,' she sighed drying her hands, 'Say a word and I'll show you what hell really is like.'_

'…' _I was lost for words for a while. It's funny… suddenly, at that moment, I didn't feel like the infamous Boy Wonder. I felt like the timid, and young Tim Drake… helpless._

'_I have for a while.' She shook her head, 'I just didn't admit it to myself until now.'_

'_Why?' I asked… she knew what I meant._

'_I can't tell anyone else,' Raven closed her eyes as she rested against the counter, 'Cyborg means well, he'll always be there for any of us and I trust him with my life, but I don't trust him to keep his mouth shut.'_

I remember I had nodded to that. Good ol' Cyborg.

'_Starfire… well… obvious reasons there. She's kinda the touchy feely type." She hummed to herself, "Besides, she's got her own problems.'_

I had caught that, by the way. I had questioned it then, but I know now.

'_Don't say anything,' Raven opened her eyes, 'We both know why it has to just stay as it is…' _

_I nodded again._

'_For being a major one on trust it's kind of hypocritical really… I don't trust myself,' She admitted before turning toward the elevator, 'Pull the cake out of the fridge in twenty minutes.'_

_With that she left._

I shook my head; long black locks tumbled down my shoulders. I turned the dials as the water flow stopped. Yanking the towel from the rack, dried off and wrapped it around me.

I brushed my teeth, combed my hair, put my boxers where they go, and made my way to my closet.

Black! Not one spot of yellow or red held up any of my closet anymore… no green.

'_Man, do you ever have any free time?' Beastboy chuckled, sitting on the couch._

'_What are you talking about, Beastboy?' _

**Was I really all that stuck up?**

'_Sure, you play games with us and act like a teen outside of the whole hero act, and until recently I realized you do know the definition of a vacation, but I mean, lately you've been on edge.'_

'_I don't know what you're getting at Beastboy.'_

'_Star likes you a lot, Dude.' Beastboy looked serious, as rare as that was, 'And after that Tokyo trip… well…All I'm saying is, don't ruin this sweet chance, or trust me, you'll never get her back.'_

I still know to this day, what he meant… who, even in solitude, still held his heart.

**Was I really all that blind?**

'_Hey, Rob!' _

_Cyborg chuckled as I flustered, trying to stand up, only just to slip and fall again._

'_Remind me who's brilliant idea it was to go ice skating?' I grumbled at the metal man._

'_Seriously, Man, I figured you out of all of us would have the least trouble with this.' He chuckled loudly._

'_Right!' I growled finally standing, 'I got it.'_

'_He HEE!!!' I suddenly felt arms wrap around my waist._

'_Wha- Starfire!' I yelled, 'You're gonna make us fall.'_

'_Don't worry, Robin. I will not ever let you fall.' She smiled, as she whispered into my ear._

**Was I really ever unsure with what wonderful things I had?**

Five minutes later, I was thoroughly clean, thoroughly dressed and all that was needed left was my one thing that has stayed with me faithfully all these years… my mask.

"_You say you do not hide anything from me, Robin. But you do! It is right on your face!"_

"Starfire," I mumbled to myself, sadly.

"_We all have our pasts, Robin. How we hide them is up to us."_

"Raven."

"_Dude, the only mystery here is Robin's eyes. I bet you ten bucks they're green! All cool and mysterious things are green! Just check me out!"_

"Beastboy."

"_Man, get over yourself and just admit you're stinking human. Do you know some of us can never get that back?!"_

"Cyborg."

**Was I really so clueless that I didn't even realize it was all falling apart?**

"Teen Titans…" I mumbled, placing the mask over my eyes, "Go."


	2. Silly Scientists Scheming

"If NASA's DC-8 Airborne Laboratory was still conducting NAMMA research missions, probing an easterly atmospheric wave off the African continent, than these easterly waves are storm systems that occasionally develop into tropical cyclones, and the main purpose of NAMMA was to find out the differences between the developing and non-developing waves."

Scratch

Scratch

Scratch

"My question is why would NAMMA need to still be in research if the Zipser Crew had already returned from Africa with all the information that NAMMA was created to receive in the first place?"

Scratch

Scratch

…

…

…

Silence

"OH GLORIOUS!!" A red headed woman in a white lab suit jumped up and down clapping her hands as she twirled, "I've got it! They are in so much trouble!"

"What is it Kori?" An elderly man scratched his beard as he watched his apprentice dance around the room.

"Don't you see, Mr. Wicox? NASA's men working in the DC-8 Airborne Labs are wasting money and fuel. They are the ones taking from _our_ major savings for the Zargethian project!" Her green eyes burned with passion as she sat down, determined, "Now the only issue left is to some how find a way to prove that in court. It's selfish and, from their excessive withdrawals from NASA's savings, systematically against protocol. It's… It's… -What's the other "S" word for it?- _silly_!"

"Ms. Anders," Henry Wicox sighed, "The only _silly_ issue here is that you are spending too much time scheming against our rivals and not enough working on the Zargethian project yourself."

"Oh hardly!" Kori giggled, "If I had it my way, I wouldn't even need to wait for NASA to make up their mind on funding us. I could be in the Zargethian solar system and back before this week was over."

"Play by the rules, Kori." Wicox eyed her, suspiciously. A slight smile began on his face, as he walked toward the exit, "I know how frustrating this all may be for you, but really, just be patient and soon, we'll be on top."

"Good, it's about time," Kori sighed, thinking to herself, gazing at her computer, which was busy deciphering the mixed up codes and languages of the Zargethian solar system, "Being on bottom is getting old."

"I bet," Wicox grinned, pushing in his access code he let the door slide open, "See you at lunch. Oh, and Kori?"

He turned back to face her.

"Yes, Sir?" She turned toward him.

"Don't work too hard," he smiled, "We may get paid really stinking well in this business, but not enough to forget the meaning of fun. So, take a break sometime, you look like you need it."

With a mumbling chuckle he left.

"Right," she sighed resting her chin on her hand, "A break."

She pressed her password in and methodically checked every program twice for efficiency. Scanning for viruses and other means of invasion of the 'governments' documents, she tapped her free hand on the brown desk. Nothing resided on the desk, no witty comic strips, no commonly seen family pictures of loved ones cluttering her desk, nothing.

Her eyes began to well up as she willed her self to hold those VERY noticeable tears. Coworkers have very often queried her lack of pictures, and even her boss, Mr. Wicox, had questioned her family life.

The answer was always the same:

"I have no family to take pictures of," Kori Anders mumbled sadly. Ms. Anders -also known as Doctor Anders- was second in command and recent heir to all the SSRT, Solar System Reseach Team, founded and ran by none other than the great Henry Wicox. Bright, vibrant eyes blazed, as Kori now sat at her Hp Pavilion MX 704 pulling up the one artifact that the Committee refused to let her or anyone in her field get their hands on.

The Zargethian Emerald.

It was the only lead they had to discovering intelligent life forms in the Zargethian solar system, and as greedy as NASA is, she couldn't even so much as evaluate it thoroughly until she had a written 'OK' from the NASA Science Security team. Each and every one of them.

"Twenty people to go through just for a stinking gem," Sarcasm and boredom dripped from her lips. She tiredly lifted her coffee cup to her lips, thirsting for caffeine, only to find it empty, "And I'm out of coffee. Grand."

Sighing, she slam the cup down a little too hard and the glass shattered everywhere.

"Maybe I do need a break," She said to herself, as she bent down and began picking up the pieces, "Everything here seems to be taking so long. My life has officially became boring… it's sooo…R-"

"Routine?"

Kori jumped at the voice that suddenly filled the room, and in doing so sliced her hand open with a shard of ceramic from the mug.

"Dammit!" Kori cursed, looking up to see who had invaded her office. Shock filled her face, "Ra-"

"Rachel," A woman with long black hair strolled out of a dark corner. Her cold, violet eyes held the same strange mystery about them as they had many years ago, "It's Rachel Roth, now. Sorry to scare you, Dr. Kori Anders."

"Rachel," Kori tried it on her tongue, before looking back at her cut and continuing nervously, "It's just Kori, and uh…It's fine, I'm… I'm not gonna die."

Green blood spilled from the gnash on her hand and on to the floor.

"Here, let me," Rachel walked up to her and placed a icy, gray hand above the cut.

"Azarath. Metrion. Zinthos."

Kori watched intently, as Rachel chanted in a near silent voice. The red headed scientist made absolutely certain not to let any emotion appear on her face.

"There ya go," Rachel smiled with slight shock, before standing up.

"Thank you," Kori also stood, the shattered mug forgotten. She fingered the slight scar that had now replaced the once bleeding cut, "To what do I owe this lovely visit, _friend_ Rachel?"

Rachel's smile remained on her dark face, but she did take note of the emphasized word.

"You know, the press would have a field day if they knew who we were and that we are together." Kori hinted, with a small graceful smirk.

"Oh, I can see it now," Raven took a seat at Kori's desk, "Former Titans Find Love In NASA Headquarters: How Raven Confesses Her Undying Love For Starfire."

Kori chuckled softly, nervously doing an unintentional scan of the area, "I must say, I haven't heard that one before."

"Doesn't mean it won't be posted. The press is so asinine."

"What do you need, Rachel?" Kori sighed, getting to business, she was always about business now a days. Funny how much a decade could change a person.

"Oh, nothing too special, I suppose. I'm doing research on a book I'm writing, and you are the only friend I have that has access to complete universal knowledge." Rachel smiled.

Kori found that weird, considering. Raven? Full of smiles? What?

"Oh, and I kind of missed you."

Kori giggled slightly hugging her far left shoulder, "Well, thank you. I wouldn't say I'm universally wise, but shoot. What's your book about?"

"The Azarathian solar system…" Rachel shrugged, as if it didn't mean as much to her as it really did.

"I figured you'd know more about it than me. That is your planet's solar system after all," Kori pointed out, slightly confused.

"I know, normally I would, but I haven't had the chance to revisit my 'past,' if you will. And I heard you just recently had funding on it about six years ago, before this whole Zargethian nonsense."

"Rachel," Kori inhaled sharply, "It was destroyed, you should have known that. It was on the news, we were carded for a waste of money. How do you think we're stuck on the bottom of NASA's projects?"

"I guess, with all the writing I do, T.V. is sorta out of the question," Rachel sighed.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Rach-" Kori let her head drop, ashamed.

"Don't worry about it," Rachel shook her head, "I asked truthfully expecting a truthful answer, and you didn't fail me. Thank you."

"I'm still sorry." Kori whispered.

"I know you are, Kori," Rachel closed her eyes, seconds passed, "How?"

Kori's head snapped up at the question.

"How did it happen?" The dark lady queried, suddenly serious, "Was it Trigon?"

"No," Kori shook her head, "It was considered a mystery. All that was left was rock and decay… kind of like the whole solar system blew up, with radiation levels sky rocketing and some harsh pull… like your planet morphed into a invisible disambiguation or something. Luckily for us, we got the F6-2089 with major quantum tunneling boosters or something that the rocket science nerds happened to install. It was a pure luck and weirdly conducted."

Rachel stared at her red headed friend. Kori's change over the years was pretty apparent, obviously.

"But as for your home… it's mystery by NASA's books… unfortunately, it wasn't worth the money we petitioned for… we're still laughed at in the lunch room." Kori sighed, with slight bitterness.

"Thank you, Kori." Rachel stood and turned to leave.

"I wish I could be of more help," Kori eyed her friend, soft caring, eyes stared back defying whatever was bound to come out of Rachel's mouth next, "But I don't know what to tell you."

"Whatever," Rachel shrugged it off, and began walking away.

"Have you heard from them?" Kori asked, suddenly.

Rachel stopped in her tracks, "No," she shook her head, "Beastboy disappeared completely, and as for you, me, Victor, and… well, the rest of us are the really obvious ones. Constantly, in the mags."

"But have you heard from them at all?" Kori pried, "Do you know how they are doing?"

"Not really, Kor. We all left if off with not ever speaking to each other, you know that." Rachel scrunched her nose, "In case you don't remember, after you left we sort of fell apart. Numbers weren't exchanged."

"Well you know, duty calls," Kori mumbled to herself, Rachel understood.

"But according to the paper, I'm the best book writer in the nation… soon to be world-wide, mind you, now that my books are being printed in Japanese, Welsh, Greek, Romanian, and Spanish. More was to come in the near future." Rachel smirked proudly to herself for a while, "Big bad Nightwing has taken the liberty to kick all of bad guy butt in Jump City with his new batch of Titans, and they just finished a major induction, by the way. Three new members now, I hear. Which is going good, considering those other two left at a pretty critical time."

Kori tried staying emotionless tried holding her pain in… trying is not always doing. She faultered… she sighed.

Rachel looked up and saw what she expected to see on the alien's face, sorrow.

"Victor Stone of STAR labs," She decided it better to continue, "Is conducting experiments on electrical devices for prosthetic body parts and all has been going 'honkey dory', according to his words or whatever. And finally, you. Doctor Kori Anders, the leading on-action researcher of NASA's Solar System Research Team since the great Henry Wicox. Also not to mention you are next in line to inherit the whole SSRT, after Wicox's death and, after some recent news, an efficient mission by NASA's standards."

"You have no time for T.V, but you can memorize all that?" Kori scoffed at her friend.

"True, you got me there, but what can I say, the Teen Titans were my only real friends," Rachel shook her head as she made to leave again, "I couldn't continue on with my lonely life without checking up on the only people that made me feel at 'home' at least once, right?"

"And as for Beastboy?" Kori rose a brow.

"We weren't as close as I had hoped when we left. Like I previously stated, numbers weren't exchanged," Rachel sighed, hiding all signs of remorse… fortunately for her, she's had better practice, "I'd gladly keep an eye on him if it were that easy."

"Bye, Raven," Kori smiled truthfully for once in for what seemed like forever, "Thank you for the visit."

"You're welcome, Starfire," Rachel opened a portal though the shadows again, but not before smiling back, "Listen to the old man, Take a break!"

Raven was gone.

"A break?" Kori giggled, bending back down to pick up the fallen mug. Scanning the lab she had spent seven years slaving in she sighed with remorse and slight determination, "After the Zargethian project, I think I'll take a vacation."


End file.
